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Kerry's Story
I always wanted a home birth, but
early on in my pregnancy it was looking
impossible. I had suffered a deep vein thrombosis ten years earlier, and was
told I would need to take heparin injections (a blood thinning medication)
from around 32 weeks until 6 weeks after the baby was born. This put me by
default into the “high risk” category for my pregnancy, despite reassurances
from both my obstetrician and my haematologist that there were in fact no
associated increased risks during labour from the medication. However,
having seen a different NHS midwife each time at my antenatal appointments,
and having been told by the head of midwifery at the hospital that her
community midwives would be “nervous” if I had the baby at home, my husband
and I decided that the only way we were likely to get the home birth we
wanted would be to employ an independent midwife. It was absolutely the best
decision that we made. I was already 33 weeks when I had my “booking in”
appointment with Jo, but from then on I received the kind of care I had
dreamed about: supportive, caring, consistent and reassuring.
Phil and I had prepared for the birth with a hypnobirthing course. We were
never particularly “alternative” in our approach to healthcare, but several
things appealed to us about hypnobirthing: firstly that it was a deep
relaxation technique and so would be enjoyable to learn, secondly that Phil
would have a clear and defined role in the pregnancy and birth experience,
thirdly that there was clear evidence that hypnobirthing helped women to
have an easier birth (an important consideration since we wanted to be at
home) and finally that we clicked with our hypnotherapist, Jo Wren, who took
a very down-to-earth approach to the techniques. The course taught us so
much more than the self-hypnosis techniques: the idea that by remaining
relaxed you allow your body to do what it is meant to do is surprisingly
powerful and became my focus during labour. The practice sessions with Phil
were also very enjoyable and I often drifted off to the sound of his
hypnotic voice!
Other than the injections, I had an easy pregnancy. I hit my due date
(Saturday 24 March 2007) and spent the entire weekend with my husband Phil
begging me to have the baby over the weekend so that he didn’t have to go
into work on Monday! As Sunday dawned and there was no sign of anything
happening, he persuaded me to go out on a very long walk with him. By the
time I got home, I was feeling very uncomfortable indeed, although I didn’t
think much of it. In the middle of the night, I woke up with what felt like
mild period pains, but which I assumed were Braxton Hicks. They were so mild
that I happily went back to sleep. In the morning, I had a small amount of
bleeding. I assumed that it was a bit of a “show” and felt very calm,
knowing that you could go for a week after a show before labour began. Phil
and I debated whether he should go into work. I was still feeling mild
period pains, but nothing significant. I certainly didn’t think I was in
labour. Just as we’d decided he should go, I went to the loo and felt
certain that my waters had broken; there wasn’t much fluid (probably just
the forewaters) but it was enough to ensure that Phil stayed at home. I
called Jo who asked us to call again if things progressed. Her parting words
– “I’ll see you later then” – puzzled me: she seemed to think I was having a
baby today!
The period pains did seem to be coming and going so I started to time how
far apart they were and was shocked to see that they were consistently
between 4 and 7 minutes apart. I thought labour was supposed to start with
contractions 20 minutes apart, so I was even more sure that this was some
kind of false alarm. However, as the day wore on, they got increasingly
intense (still manageable though) and it seemed it was really happening. I
was remarkably calm and laid-back about it all: I listened to my
hypnobirthing relaxation CD a couple of times, although I didn’t drift off
as usual since the discomfort was keeping me a little more awake than I
would normally be. At some point (it’s murky to me), Phil called Jo and
updated her, and we then did a hypnobirthing session where Phil ensured I
was completely relaxed. Around 4pm I thought it would be sensible to put on
my TENS machine. I was still in good spirits and chatting happily to Phil as
he stuck the pads on my back. After then it’s all much hazier. One of the
hypnobirthing techniques is time dilation, where Phil would suggest that an
hour would feel like five minutes. Whether it was this specific suggestion
or simply my state of deep relaxation, the time flew by. I went almost
completely into my own world, just trying to breathe well and focusing on
staying relaxed. Phil busied himself filling the birth pool which allowed
him to feel useful: we’d practised our hypnobirthing so much that I didn’t
actually need him to do anything specific as labour progressed. By the time
Phil called Jo and she arrived, it was after 6pm, by which time the only
position I found comfortable was kneeling over the birthing ball, swaying
and rocking. Jo arrived mid-contraction and had to wait for me to finish
before I could say hello! She examined me and said that I was 3cms dilated.
I felt oddly disappointed (I think I was hoping that I would already
magically be 7cms but in hindsight that seems ridiculous!). It was the only
time she examined me which was another huge advantage of having her and
being at home: no need to progress at a set rate or be examined again. I was
still alert between contractions and able to chat for those few minutes, but
as things moved on, I became more uncomfortable. I tried to watch some
comedy but I just found it annoying and distracting. At one point I moved
into another room to be cooler and ended up drifting to sleep between
contractions, even though they were only a few minutes apart. Jo kept on
reassuring me that I was very relaxed and doing well. I didn’t find the TENS
machine particularly effective – it made my skin a bit sore so I couldn’t
turn it up very high – but the distraction of pressing the button at each
contraction definitely helped!
The contractions were so close together all the time that going to the loo
was really uncomfortable, and I didn’t manage to eat anything more than a
few mouthfuls of custard, despite being hungry. I also disliked having the
monitor pressed to my tummy since it always seemed to set off another
contraction.
As midnight approached, I wanted to get into the pool. Jo suggested waiting
another half an hour, at which point she would be comfortable that I was at
least 5 or 6 cms without needing to examine me. After taking off the TENS
machine, I had a contraction as I tried to get into the pool: half in, half
out and with no TENS, it was more intense, but I was so deeply “in the zone”
that I could still cope. The warm water was absolute heaven. My contractions
slowed down for a bit as my body relaxed and I felt so much better. I got
into the pool around 12.30am and from there things moved fairly quickly. In
what seemed like no time, Jo said that she thought I was in transition, and
then my body did the only thing that made me feel scared. Until then, I
hadn’t felt even remotely anxious or nervous: a little bit sick during
contractions, and frustratingly hungry, but not worried. In fact, I didn’t
at any point think about what was about to happen, what might happen next,
how long this would last: I was just completely focused on relaxing and
breathing. I had thought the “urge to push” would be just that, so was taken
by surprise when my body physically started to push my baby hard downwards.
For a few moments I came out of my “zone” but Jo started to give me a few
directions to help me cope. Despite all my hypnobirthing training not to
push but to relax, I just couldn’t resist it. After a couple of pushes, Jo
asked me to stop since she wasn’t sure I was fully dilated, but on the next
contraction I just had to push and I could feel that the baby’s head was
coming. As her head popped out, she took us all by surprise! Jo coached me
through panting (although her head was already out so it felt a bit too late
to me!) and I managed to gather my reserves and push out the rest of her
body on the next contraction. And there she was – our beautiful little girl
– Eleanor Grace – covered in thick vernix, with a head full of dark hair. I
held her in the pool for a while, the cord still pulsing. Phil cut the cord
once it had stopped and then he cuddled her while I delivered the placenta
standing in the pool (no injection needed). It was amazing how alert I felt
as soon as she was born. We weighed her, dressed her, cuddled her and Jo
checked me over. I was really lucky to have no tearing at all despite the
speed of her arrival. I had a lovely hot shower in my own bathroom and we
settled into bed for our first night as a family.
It’s worth saying that the support that Jo provided for us after the birth
was as valuable as during the birth itself. Eleanor was very sleepy and
wouldn’t open her mouth to latch onto the breast, so feeding was a challenge
for the first few days, and continued to be tough for a few weeks. But we
persevered, thanks in part to the fact that the birth itself had gone so
well and had left us the energy to cope with what happened next, and in part
to the fact that we had brilliant support from Jo and the feeding advisers
at the hospital. Eleanor’s thriving and I love telling visitors sitting on
our sofa that she was born just by their feet!
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